I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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