all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize