Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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