I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
