imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
