Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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