Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
