He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
