Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
