We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
