I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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