I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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