whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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