gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
