Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
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Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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