what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dick very happy bro
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
