We won't sleep together?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
