i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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