She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
