I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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