Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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