Im at strip club and am horny
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
