I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
