btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
