Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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