watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize