You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
