For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
