I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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