you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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