All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
