found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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