Old men and throwing up are my life now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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