I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
