I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
