I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize