Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
