I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
