i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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