So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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