Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
