I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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