i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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