i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You smell like stripper and shame
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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