singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize