I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
