the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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