Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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