I feel like I'm in dance class right now
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
