yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
