it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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