"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
