the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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