You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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